sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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