OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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