So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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