How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize