I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
