Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
