Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The uberlube is also flammable
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
