There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
