If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
