He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
