What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
