Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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