fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
