All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's like iHOP with fire
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we should paint friendship bongs
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
