It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
