Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
