Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
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If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
ttyl tear gas
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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