she was so not down for the gang bang
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
