SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
