Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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