She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just high enough for therapy.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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