Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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