apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sext me about skeletons
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize