Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she told me i tasted like america
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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