thus making me awesome and them whores
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
