If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
