I smell stomach acid.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its liver damage thursday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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