Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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