I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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