How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
