i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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