Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
