I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
But theres a keg here and me gusta
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
