Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
