I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
