The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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