no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
