In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
nutella sex= disaster
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
