i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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