so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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