What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
