Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
