How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
