There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
