I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
