first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize