so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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