Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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