You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
