Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
