If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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