Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
