woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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