just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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