Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
