When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
