what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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