I accidentally burped into my bong.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
